Culinary Crap
11:44 AM Edit This 2 Comments »
The other day I decided that I would be a housewife. Now, I am regularly a stay-at-home-mom. However, I am speaking about a housewife straight out of Leave It To Beaver. I was going to have a spotless house, with perfect children, dinner would be on the table at 6:00 every evening, and I would speak to my man in nothing but "I" messages.
This was all going fairly well, until, I decided I would top it all off with dessert. I was going to bake a pie with fresh marionberries (thanks for the berries, Baz! http://www.bazanainsanity.blogspot.com/)
Well first off, I forgot to bake the bottom crust first. So that was gonna be a doughy pile of crud. Second, I put too many berries and juice in. That cookie sheet has seen it's last day!! Third, I can't freakin' bake...What the HELL was I thinking!!!
To my family's credit, they saw how hard I had been working all day and you should have seen them grimace with an equal mix of apprehension and appreciation. About halfway through the pie, both my daughter and my man informed me that the berries had too many seeds. In their loving way, they explained that they would eat it, if only there hadn't been so many seeds. As the amount of seeds made it impossible for them to even put their teeth together to chew any longer. I took this at face value even though I knew that this globby pile of dough needed no chewing!!!
My thoughts drift back to the stories my papa would tell of grandma's first attempts at biscuits. "She could have invented the wheels for Tonka Trucks!!" he would proudly exclaim.
With this thought in mind, I sadly tell my man I should have been married off at 15 so that I could have used our first years for exploring and exploiting the world of culinary arts. Years when our young minds were more open to experimentation.
At the end of the night I said, Forget It! Would anyone like a candy bar for dessert instead? Oh, and by the way, We're having pop-tarts for breakfast tomorrow.
This was all going fairly well, until, I decided I would top it all off with dessert. I was going to bake a pie with fresh marionberries (thanks for the berries, Baz! http://www.bazanainsanity.blogspot.com/)
Well first off, I forgot to bake the bottom crust first. So that was gonna be a doughy pile of crud. Second, I put too many berries and juice in. That cookie sheet has seen it's last day!! Third, I can't freakin' bake...What the HELL was I thinking!!!
To my family's credit, they saw how hard I had been working all day and you should have seen them grimace with an equal mix of apprehension and appreciation. About halfway through the pie, both my daughter and my man informed me that the berries had too many seeds. In their loving way, they explained that they would eat it, if only there hadn't been so many seeds. As the amount of seeds made it impossible for them to even put their teeth together to chew any longer. I took this at face value even though I knew that this globby pile of dough needed no chewing!!!
My thoughts drift back to the stories my papa would tell of grandma's first attempts at biscuits. "She could have invented the wheels for Tonka Trucks!!" he would proudly exclaim.
With this thought in mind, I sadly tell my man I should have been married off at 15 so that I could have used our first years for exploring and exploiting the world of culinary arts. Years when our young minds were more open to experimentation.
At the end of the night I said, Forget It! Would anyone like a candy bar for dessert instead? Oh, and by the way, We're having pop-tarts for breakfast tomorrow.
2 comments:
Can I eat at your house tonight?
LOL
omg lol loving finally seeing the picture. i would totally have eaten that pie, though...heh heh
i have to say, i'm still LMAO from the 'suffering from menstruation' thought down below. omfg ROFL
Post a Comment