MY DAZE

As you have probably already realized from the last post, I am currently experiencing what my grandma would refer to as "my time of the month." I have been thinking about some of the symptoms we women endure during "period." HA! What I have begun to wonder though, is if men realize ALL of the symptoms?

Yes, there is the blood-letting, tear-falling, bitch-festing, hormone-changing, head-aching, and the uterine-cramping. However, that is not all!! When I speak of the uterine-cramping, what I really want to know is this: Ladies, do you tell your man about menstrual diarrhea?

For those select few of you who are sitting there innocently wide-eyed, looking around the room hoping no one is reading this over your shoulder, the same way you hope none of them have ever smelled your farts, you know that I speak the truth. The only way that a woman could never have experienced womanly diarrhea is if she was truly just too much of a tight-ass to even acknowledge her body's needs. That being said, let me continue to flow. (he-he-he)

So, does your man know about the poop? Does he realize that when you get those REALLY bad cramps during your special week, it's because your body has just stepped it up a notch and will soon torment you with double doses of fluid-letting?

It's as if our period reminds us that we are strong, beautiful women. We are capable of bearing children and this planet is only populated due to the wonder of a woman's body! Yet, in your next thought, you are a dirty slob stuck to the damn john!!!

While we're on the subject of the wonder of a woman's body and fecal matter, do men know about the wonder of diarrhea and childbirth? Do they realize that right before their beautiful baby is about to be born, created of their wonderous and powerful sperm, your body's natural way of preparing for childbirth is to let it ALL out as quickly and efficiently as possible. A real women always knows when it's time to call the midwife, because she just had her tell-tale bout of runny poo.

I'm sorry if you were too offended or if someone accidently smelled one of your "poofs" because of my post. (Since cute little ladies don't FART) However, to be fair, I did title this as honestly as I could!