MY DAZE

I have been reading Rixa's blog a lot recently, Stand and Deliver, reflections on pregnancy, birth, and mothering. She has been discussing in many blog posts in great length her decision to have a homebirth with a midwife after having her first child unassisted at home. I am writing this post to say Thank You and Bravo to her for addressing this. She has gotten several comments stating that she was somehow betraying something or not totally trusting birth by allowing a midwife to be present.
I often feel that AP parenting and the world of birth can become a contest. Perhaps I am somehow falling short or not providing the right things for my kids as I cannot cloth diaper, homeschool, cook organic meals from scratch, use all-natural products, co-sleep, and give birth unassisted simutaneously. Therefore, I fail.
I have thought that I might be judged for not "trusting birth" enough to do an unassisted birth. Reading Rixa's blog lately has really helped me find the words that I needed to assure myself that I can trust birth in every way and not be a good candidate for unassisted birth. Therefore, here is my list of why I need my midwife present for my homebirth experience.

#1. Birth is enough work for me for one day. I have absolutely no intention of watching both of my kids, doing the prep work, and doing the clean-up work the same day I give birth. I want someone there to help me fill and empty a pool, throw away garbage, and start a load of laundry. This may seem silly to some, but it is truly important in my life. This may be as close as I get to a spa day, so I plan on enjoying the help.

#2. I do not have a support team that can handle the mess and I do not want them to feel burdened with the what-if's. The person who is most eager to help me when the going gets messy is 12 years old. The rest of my support team wants to either take care of my other children, take photos, or make sure to stay near my head. I remember being too tired to even reach for my baby after my last birth. It was the midwife alone who demonstrated any willingness to stick her hands in the water to swoosh my baby towards me so that I could catch him. My 12 year old is probably the only one besides me willing to touch placenta or the cord.

#3. The one or two people that may or may not be here might have to go to the bathroom occasionally or feed themselves.

#4. I have every intention of laboring alone and/or with one other support person. I have every intention of giving birth on my own. I do not plan on taking any herbs to induce labor. I don't want an amniotomy. I really want to experience the entire process for what it is. To me, I feel that by doing all of these things I am trusting birth and taking responsibility for my body and the process of labor and birth that is best for me. I do not feel that I need to experience an unassisted birth to do this.

#5. To be quite honest, I even considered a birth center for this birth, simply to be further away from my older children and to really ensure that my support system could not get away. I work my butt off in real life every day and birth may be as close as I get to being queen for the day.

I found the article while reading one of my favorite blogs listed in my sidebar, Homebirth: A Midwife Mutiny. In her latest post she links to the article which has been released today and published in numerous places. It makes me smile. As a doula and a woman who has had a homebirth and planning another, I am well aware that women not only can, but should eat during labor. I'm just glad a recent study proved it for the medical profession who will quickly close their eyes, cover their ears, and run the other way. After all, insurance still pays those physicians way more for c-sections. Oh well, here's hoping...

The first one is so beautiful it had me bawling, the second one had me cracking up laughing.


"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Again, with the cliff and the jumping...
I am seeing many others write about their goals for the coming year, their New Year resolutions. I have many goals on a regular basis. I have so many goals for myself that my anxiety and stress levels are through the roof. You know how there are those types of parents and you can never do anything to please them, nothing will ever be enough? I embody that for myself. Therefore, my new goal is to aim low.

Find out how you can get yours!!
These are 2nd Womb baby slings offered by The True Face of Birth blogspot.

Good Luck winning yours! My son LOVED his ring sling, as did I. It was a life-saver through the first 9 months and I can still use it with him now that he's 2 years old. I remember how empowered I felt when I could walk through the grocery store, using both of my hands to shop, and nurse him at the same time. Plus, no one could even tell what we were doing. I often had people stop to admire him without even noticing we were nursing.

These make WONDERFUL shower gifts too!

OMG!!! A superstar has contacted me! I was so honored, beside myself, and thrilled beyond belief!!! I called up one of my closest friends and shouted, "You will never believe what has happened!!! MRS. G commented on one of my posts!!!!" "Uh-huh," was her nonchalant reply. "No, you don't understand," I insist. "Mrs. G is as close as I will ever get to a rock star. She is like, FAMOUS!" My friend comments that Mrs. G is pretty down to earth, being from the northwest and all. I am feeling a little deflated at this point.
Cuz Mrs. G, folks, she is a SUPERSTAR. Say it with me.....SUPA-STAH

Much like Pioneer Woman is to Mrs. G, Mrs. G is to Karinda. Therefore, I found her taking the time to visit my measly little attempt at a blog very exciting. As Cher gave Mrs. G a reason to stop talking to cats, Mrs. G gives me a reason to blog.