MY DAZE

I have been told that I'm under too much stress or that I bite off more than I can chew. I will admit that I tend to have quite a lot on my plate. However, most of it is necessary.
I can't simply quit being a mom.
I also can't do much about being a single mom. I suppose I could take in some unemployed flunkey who can't even use me for sex as the newborn screaming in the background would be too distracting, but now I'm just getting off track.
I can't stop feeding the family.
I can't stop doing laundry or the dishes.
I can't quit my job.
Again, I guess I technically could do any of these things, but really I'm only gonna hurt myself eating off moldy dishes and wearing stank clothes.

To get back to the point at hand, I *do* have a lot on my plate. Yet, I constantly think of ways to put myself down. I always feel like I'm never doing enough. I always see what went undone. Therefore, I decided to take this opportunity to jot down some of my accomplishments today. I am going to write down all that I did do because I am an amazing person and I work my ass off.

*Changed sheets, made bed
*Did 2 loads of laundry
*One load of dishes
*Made Biscuits & Gravy for breakfast
*Made tofurkey sandwiches w/applesauce for lunch
*Made spaghetti for dinner w/ fresh sauteed veggies & garlic bread
*Helped daughter write a letter to her grandma
*Helped daughter find current event article (and had a long talk about vaccines)
*Breastfed 2 children too many times to count
*Sang Happy Birthday & other various lullabies
*Talked to imaginary creatures to please a two year old
*Read an article for my homework & started assignment
*Changed several diapers
*Took a shower (this TOTALLY counts!)
*Picked up balls, stuffed dogs, cleats (straightened up living room)
*Rocked/Held baby a whole lot

This is difficult. I keep looking at the list thinking, is this all?!?! Come on, you can do more! I feel so guilty for lack of client calls & lack of homework done. I think I will add a picture of how cute my kids are, that will surely make me feel better!

As I still do not have a baby to show off all over the internet even though I am 8 days past my estimated due date based on last menstrual period and 4 days past my EDD based on conception date, I decided that I would use up my time showing off new baby toys.

Disclaimer: I was not born a carseat whore. (although sometimes looking back at this life as I am about to have my third child, I often dream of the life where I became a shoe and/or purse whore. Perhaps a MAC make-up whore? That, however, is an entirely different post) As I was saying, not born into the life of carseat snobbery. My first child was born almost 13 years ago and at that point manufacturers were still trying to decide what types of bungy cords would best help the car seat to stay down as it flung wildly around with every corner the car took. By the time my second child was born 10 years later, car seat technology had come a long way. Not near as many pool noodles and bungy cords were required to engineer them into staying within the car in a proper position. Around the time my son was born I also became friends with a carseat technician. This helped improve the carseat positioning even more so. I was feeling so much safer putting my baby in the car.

Then, it happened...
She gave me this for my son when he was able to ride facing forward.
Did you see it? Did you feel it? Did you sense it? RIGHT THEN, when I became a carseat whore? When I fell orgasmicly in love with straps that would never twist? When I knew that pool noodles, towels, and receiving blankets were not necessary equipment that one must purchase separately to make a carseat function? OMG, I am officially a carseat snob! (I won't even get into our interchangeable covers *Zebra!*)

Lesson for the day, if you ever become close friends with a carseat technician, remain friends throughout all of your childbearing years! This is vital. I do not care if she purposely runs over your dog or accidentally falls asleep while watching your toddler. Get a new dog and hire a babysitter. This might sound harsh, but when someone who is this dedicated to safety while riding in the car finds out you are pregnant again and states that they would like to buy you the carseat for the new baby, this is invaluable! A person who says that they can put no price on safety and to please help them choose what style would fit best in your car and which fabric you like is a person who must stay a close friend until you decide to schedule your hysterectomy.

Therefore, without further ado, meet my new carseat. Again, it would be far cooler if I had a baby to decorate it with. Yet, as my first child was born around 43 weeks and my second at 41, I wasn't holding my breath or anything.

To celebrate this joyous occasion I:

Mowed the Lawn
Weeded the Flower Beds
Finished up some Homework/Emails
Washed and Dried 3 Loads of Laundry
Folded the Laundry
Fed Children
Did the Dishes
Vacuumed
Picked up Multiple Toys, Clothes, and Garbage
Bathed a Toddler
Nursed a Toddler

I am going to be grateful for this day as I did not:

Clean up Puke
Change Diapers
Clean up any Potty Accidents
Dole out any Meds
Drive to any Sporting Events
See any Blood
Repair any Furniture, Walls, or Replace any Dishes

Our family tradition for celebrating this spring holiday is to visit a local farm that fills plastic eggs with apples, carrots, and corn that the children get to hunt for and then feed to the farm animals that have been rescued from abusive situations and now live on this vegan farm.
Here is somebody who looks particularly happy to see us.

The children are peering in at some doves. I love photos like this where I catch them engaged in what they are doing, especially when I'm lucky enough to catch a pic of the two of them together.

Kyla and Riok heading out in the field towards the goats.

Mama & Riok feeding one of them.

...and sister giving a little extra love to the goat. LOL

However, after a couple of hours of wind, mud puddles, and walking, even an abundance of farm animals is not enough to keep everyone in good spirits.
Especially this one.

To find out more about this wonderful farm, their amazing animals, and how you can help visit the Lighthouse Farm Sanctuary website.

What a fabulous day Monday was for getting the mail. I splurged this month and decided that my family needed presents to help us feel all the more excited about spring. My present to myself was a couple of new books. I am a geek like that. I will admire MAC make-up, clothes, shoes, and complain about never having anything new. I will dream of the day I have a place to wear heels and accumulated accessories that go perfectly with every trendy outfit. Yet, when I get an extra $20 I will choose books every time.
Yesterday I received one of my books.

...and the children obtained the last part needed to attach the new hammock swing to the swingset. A metal and plastic contraption doesn't look very exciting to kids in the packaging, but it was an entirely different story when paired with the hammock swing that had arrived a few days previous.

This is what our swingset now looks like. Note mommy's hammock in the background. Hammocks Rock!!!

This is Riok enjoying his new swing with the neighbor, one of his best friends.

...and this is just cute, even if a little blurry, as this is a spinning hammock swing.

Hi mom

i love you a lot because you give me strength to do my best and i like that even if i have hard times at school i still love you
i think you are the best at every thing .

THIS is why you should get THE BEST MOMMY AWARD even if you are having a baby i still love you tomorrow me and you should have a
daughter and mother time

/love you very much

love you daughter kyla mae

Soccer is in full swing. I wish I had more and better photos, but the battery charger is not currently working for my camera. I borrowed a friend's camera to snap some shots of this game, but I would really like more and better pictures to choose from. I'm totally jonesin' for my camera to be in working order. Of course if it was working, I would just bitch that I don't have a 70-300 lens with image stabilization to capture shots all the way across the giant fields these pre-teens play on.

I hope to grace this blog with some more fabulous soccer imagery before the season ends. However, if my photography skills don't improve too drastically, softball is right around the corner.

Riok was feeling rather artistic the other day. He got into his sister's desk and talked me into opening up several different colors of paint for him.

After finishing with all of his paintings, he found the playdough. I opened up the containers and set him up at the kitchen table with spatulas, plastic knives, and cookie cutters. However, we did not catch playdough in film, I apologize.

After a fun and creative morning, I felt like a great mom. As I got into the shower, I patted myself on the back for my patience, my flexibility, and an all-around good mommy day. You know what's coming, right? I stepped out of the shower to find a 2 year old boy naked and covered in paint and glitter. It was on his belly, his arms, his hands, his legs, and a few days later I am still scrubbing the purple glitter glue paint out of his hair.
At this point I'm just shaking my head, sighing, and refusing to see anything but the positives. For example, at least the new hair do matched the toe nail polish he picked out the other day.

All of the neighborhood children are equally impressed with the new swingset. This welded together contraption can support full grown adults and all manner of underdogs.



I also plan on getting a hammock swing with a swivel to add to the fun, but until then Riok happily wanders back and forth between the swingset and hammock.

Spring soccer includes A LOT of rain. A LOT!!! I try to be a good mom. I try to be there for all of the games. I am not the parent that drops her child off at the field, considering sports to be code for "Two Hours Free Babysitting."
My daughter had a game today at 10:30 am. It was cold. It was wet. It was raining sideways. I dropped her off at 10:00 to start practicing. I sat in the car with my toddler for half an hour, then got out to watch the game. My darling 2 year old son ran towards the parking lot full of cars 3,000,000,000 times. When I tried to hold him or convince him to stay near in any way he screamed (or is it screeched) at the top of his lungs non-stop. I couldn't decide if trying to keep him from being hit by a car, listening to his piercing screams, or the looks I was getting from other parents was worse. I eventually gave in and went back to wait in the car as I was losing strength and patience to continue holding down a 2 year old.
When the game was over and it was time to actually drive the car, my sweet little pumpkin reminded me how he felt about being strapped down in carseats. By this point I was ready to explain to him how lucky he was to not be one of the many children on leashes. He hit, kicked, bit, and continued the SCREAMING.
Why am I sharing all of this? To illuminate how excited I am for the next one. Can you imagine the fun of this day with a newborn in tow?!?!? I am imagining an exorcist type of look to overcome me. I imagine I will just go through my days with my head spinning and spewing the fluids of insanity.

I have a two year old and a twelve year old. I often worry that my twelve year old will feel a lack of attention due to the difference of attention that one would show a twelve year old compared to a two year old. I don't oooh and awww over her ability to flush the toilet, for instance.

Yet yesterday morning, I woke up ooooh-ing and awww-ing over my adorable daughter. I am on the edge of a cold and haven't been feeling that great. I was still in bed when she came in to tell me good-bye on her way to school. She then tells me, "By the way mama, I made you some coffee for today." I stumble out within the 1/2 hour, ready for a mess or some really terrible coffee or both. Yet, it was delicious and there was no mess to be found.
Next, I stumbled to my laptop. We had snuggled last night watching old episodes of Bones. I have been exhausted lately and fell asleep halfway through the first episode. Yet, when I opened my screen, we were halfway through the second episode. I had to laugh to myself that my daughter had continued watching TV via the net after I fell asleep, reaching over my sleeping body to click into new screens.

After all, why wouldn't a child want to continue watching a drama based on anthropology late into the night and then wake the following morning to brew the daily coffee?

My daughter's school planned on having a winter concert this year to celebrate the holiday season. It was canceled due to snow, ice, and school being out for an extra week. Both the new music teacher and all of the kids were a little disappointed. However, after the holiday break, they rescheduled.
This was the coolest public school concert I've ever seen. They did not just stand up there and sing. They sang different parts, harmonies. There were solos. There were different sections that did recorders or drums during various songs. There were readings by individuals and groups on different holiday traditions. There was a point when tons of kids paired off for some type of swing dancing to "Boogie Woogie Santa Clause." It was amazing!!
Here is a photo of my baby up on stage...ALL BY HERSELF...reading one of the winter traditions.

...I post photos.
These are some pics of Riok taken when visiting my grandparents for Thanksgiving.



...and my sister with Riok. We were trying to bribe him to take a nice photo with a great background by offering him soda. He ran up grabbed the soda and ran the opposite way. So this was the best shot. Darn uncooperative toddlers!

the children will....
No, no, no, wait....I meant to say while the single mom goes to try and lay down for one second of peace as she is exhausted from EVERYTHING her house all of a sudden becomes very quiet. Hmmm, perhaps a little too quiet...
Here is the older one hard at work on her homework for the day.

Perplexed by this the mom wanders further through her soundless house.
Note the look in his innocent eyes. Oh, and by the way, no he hasn't grown THAT much, he pulled a chair over to the stove.

Riok turned two on November 4th, but I didn't have my photos ready. Better late than never. Happy Birthday Riok!! I hope you are enjoying your new bike! I love you with my whole heart and although things have been challenging lately, I couldn't do it without you. I love you, baby!